Dear Tenth Avenue North

Dear Tenth Avenue North,
        You probably don't remember me, actually I could almost guarantee that you don't remember me. As a middle schooler, my mom and I made a "green room" for you before you put on a concert at our church. It was probably right after you made "Over and Underneath". You were still selling "God with Us" and "Speaking of Silence" at  your merch table. "Your Love is Life" is still one of my all time favorite songs.  My dad had a conversation with Jason where my dad said "My daughter really likes the Oh, Oh, Oh song"..... he was talking about "Times." Talk about embarrassing. You stayed with us and led worship on the Sunday mornings after the times you were there for your concerts. I bought the CDs and listened to them more than I probably should have.

      But none of that is really the point of this. I'm not trying to be smug and say that I loved you before you were cool or that I'm your number one fan.... Mostly because I think those statements are weird. But I do want to thank you and tell you how much you have changed my life.

      You see, I never heard music like yours and I doubt I will ever hear music like yours again. Your music handles the difficult things. So much of Christian music talks about love and joy and all the positives. While that's all well and good, it's not enough for me. I've been through too much to pretend that rainbows and butterflies are the poster children of Christianity. Your music doesn't shy away from the difficulties. It doesn't shy away from the fact that while I know I am worth something, I still feel as though I'm completely worthless. It doesn't shy away from the brokenness that comes before satisfaction. It doesn't shy away from the desperation and the heart break. It doesn't shy away from the fact that there are days when survival is the only objective. It doesn't shy away from the shame of sin or why I still go back to sin when Jesus is right there. It doesn't shy away that in the midst of every situation there is hope. It doesn't shy away from that fact that I don't deserve anything that God gives me, his grace is more abundant than my downfalls. It doesn't cheapen love or make it seem like we're perfect. I've never seen Christian music be so honest and authentic.

      When you started your music, I just loved it and then I went through life I understood why I loved it. You said in the pamphlet of "Cathedrals", "We don't know where this group of songs finds you, but we have some hopes for where they'll lead." I can't tell you where I'm going but I sure can tell you that each of your albums found me exactly where I was. "Over and Underneath" found me when I needed to know that I am and always will be loved. "Light Meets the Dark" found me in a place where I was struggling to figure out the battle within my heart, what side I would be on and who would win.  "The Struggle" found me when living every day was a great success and when I struggled with sin and it's consequences. "Islands EP" found me on an island of my own creation because of my own pride and stubbornness. And now "Cathedrals", has found me on the journey off my island to becoming his cathedral.

       If I never heard your music, I probably wouldn't be where I am. I would have never realized the beauty of struggling. I never would have learned the depth and unconditionality of real love. I would have never learned that feeling and thinking that I'm less than alright doesn't define me or the way God sees me. I would have thought that I was alone in all my struggles. I would have believed that redemption doesn't win at the end of the day. I would have stilled believe that I am not worth saving and that no one wants to save me.  I would have never survived the deaths of my parents or the battles of my own mind

     I want you to know that your music will never be void of life changing power. And I believe that because I whole heartedly believe that Christ is the reason you  create. You see and know the truth and desire others to do  the same. I still don't think I'm putting into words the magnitude of the impact you have had on my life and my relationship with Christ. I don't think I could ever express how grateful I am for your existence and your music but I needed to try. I don't even know if you will ever see this but I hope you will and I hope you know that you are making a vast difference in lives. Thank you for putting your hearts into words and those words into songs, it has made all the difference.
                 
                                                                                               With all my heart,
                                                                                                        Marilyn